So its a casual weekday evening and I’m in my room chatting to my sister.
We’re laughing , the vibe is good, a little too good actually. Hmm… something’s not right… where is my child!
I hear a knock on my bedroom door and it’s my little sister cheparoning my 2 year old daughter into the room
“Look at what your daughter has done !”
**ALL of a sudden she’s “my daughter” when she has done something- she has a dad too you know!**
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
She looked like she was trying to do blackface but she’s black so it doesn’t quite have the same effect.
She had smothered herself in black hair cream! She smelt like a black barber shop. She stood there waiting for a reaction- (I just want to throw the whole thing away to be honest)
Why!? – Why… can I not just have a normal 2 year old that doesn’t go touching things she’s not meant to and listens to her mum? – they don’t exist do they !
Whilst I’m cleaning her up she’s just laughing at me – in my face – she obviously thinks it’s funny. I’m trying to look serious but I can’t help but smile. (Damn I’ve blown my angry mum cover, now she’ll never ever take me seriously!)
The thing is , you only have to take your eyes off them for a split second. She has done many of these kind of things (some I cannot mention otherwise social services will come for me!- I promise I’m not an irresponsible mother though)
After the incident I ask my mum ‘what have I done to deserve such treatment ?’ – she said I was worse and how one time she caught me and my sister shaving our eyebrows off with a shaving stick! ( WOW- if social services didn’t come for her why would they come for me?)
I actually remember it! I was just the accomplice but my sister, she was the mastermind behind all the naughty things we did as kids- I just used to be the one that got caught.
I guess as mum’s we have to be extra vigilent and have eyes at the back of our heads. We also have to have extra arms for shopping, quick reaction time to prevent accidents, 1000 facial expressions so your child knows exactly what you mean without you saying a word. – you basically have to be a SUPER HERO.
Being a mum is a one way ticket to sleepless nights- that’s the one thing that took me off guard when I had my first child- I never really saw it coming . I basically became a night shift security guard – with no extra pay. There is alot of stigma around newborns and their ability to send you off the rails BUT…
Don’t let anyone decive you into thinking that the new born stage is the hardest, nothing can prepare you for the toddler stage- it will test your limits, push your boundaries and make you question why you opened your legs!
With all that being said you can’t get enough of them! They can make you forget your worries . Even when they’re asleep you kinda miss them. (only for the first 10mins).
You take the good with the bad and get on with it… a wise woman once said silence is golden, unless you have a toddler in that case it’s just suspicious!- she was right.
Now excuse me whilst I go and scrub pen off the walls .
Is there anything you’ve caught your child doing? Share your toddler story :)…